Wonderfully Made

I am always surprised at how quickly time passes, even when some days it feels like it's dragging - like when your baby is sick, or cutting molars, or giving up their napping schedule for a more whimsical approach at sleep. Even when you look forward to the next milestone so eagerly it feels like it's never gonna get here.

Will it ever get here?

Or when you think "maybe when he sits up/crawls/walks/listens/talks/follows directions/graduates high school things will get easier." lol.

Be careful.

Be so careful I remind myself...do not wish today away.

It all goes by so fast. Too fast.

One day you're looking at this...

And then you blink...

These are the sweetest days.

I laugh as I tell my mom each month "I think this is my favorite age."

And it is.

Every month.

And every time I look at a new little baby - especially little boys - especially little boys with SB. ;) - I marvel at how quickly they grow - how quickly mine has continued to change and blossom into this little boy. How clearly I remember each picture - when it was taken - how I adored him then - how I adore him now. How little he was - how little he still is. The things that changed like his dark hair slowly lightening and growing into precious curls. The things that stayed the same like his dark blue-grey eyes and chubby cheeks. I look at these new little boys like Charlie and Beckett - and how their mommies cherish them. I am smitten by their newness, amazed at how fast they too are growing, and reminded once again at how blessed we are to have our sweet babies. And I think about our stories - how they are so similarly written - darkened with scary beginnings, brightened by precious perspective and seasoned with a deep appreciation for all the little things we might have taken for granted. The little moments we might still take for granted if not for the daily reminders that their little lives are so precious. Reminders of what it means to have these miracle babies.

The unknowns and fears at each doctors visit.

The tiny AFOs or a box of catheters.

The milestones we are still waiting for.

The milestones we rejoiced in reaching.

And perhaps one of the most bittersweet reminders...the scars.

You can't hardly see Jet's battle scar in this picture but it is - well - magnificent. :)

I can't believe how much it has faded - but it is still one of the largest I've seen.

These wounds that were so harsh - so un-natural on your newborn baby - are now healed, but not gone. In there place is a less-menacing but just as real reminder of what this little body has already been through...and will go through. But despite the sadness or worry I feel - those little (or in Jet's case not-so-little) scars are the most precious things to me -

they are a glorious statement that says -

I am alive.

I am a miracle.

God made me.

And I am wonderfully made.

"I praise you that I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful,

I know that full well."

Psalms 139:14