Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Baby Bump - 36weeks





Yep! Time is goin' by and we are now 2 weeks away from my cesarian date! If all goes according to plan, baby's birthday (May 26th) is just around the corner! I'm so excited but suddenly experiencing anxiety and fear like I haven't had since we first found out about his spina bifida. I find myself talking David's ear off with "I wonder if he'll sleep good?" "How big will he be?" "Will he eat good?"....things I cannot know now or control...worries that are completely unnecessary and cannot be helped by worrying about them but seem pretty common from mother's I've talked to. :) And of course there are worries specific to our baby: "Will I be able to nurse him after him being away from me for several days?" "How long will we have him before they take him to Scottish Rite for surgery" "How will my heart not break in two without him for the days I have to stay in recovery?" "How long till I can hold my little boy". So needless to say, these days are full of joy and anticipation mixed with a bittersweet realization of what is to come. People keep asking me if I'm ready? Such a loaded question for me right now. A huge happy "Yes" and yet a resounding frightened "No." I've heard it is so much easier (from the moms I've met whose babies have SB) once your baby is here. So until he is here, I pray that they are right, and I pray for my little angel's healing and safety once again.

9 comments:

Micki said...

Oh Joanna,
We will continue to pray that all goes well and that everything will work out as best as can be. It's easy to say don't worry, but I know I'm terrible at following my own advice. I will say that like with anything in life that is uncertain and worrisome, when it comes, God gives us the strength to get through it and although there may be some times you'll be sad or things won't go as expected, you'll be surrounded by those who love you and care. During those times, lean on them.
Cherish every moment. Before you know it, he'll be throwing a temper tantrum at the most inconvenient time and you'll be wishing he was back inside! :)

Leigh and Andy said...

I remember all of those feeling oh so well! I promise that it IS so much easier once they are here!!! :) It is impossible not to worry about all of those little things that you are worrying about, but once you see your little man, you will be so filled with love and joy that somehow those worries just vanish. :)Hang in there, soon you will see your perfect little peanut! :) I can't wait for the pics!!!

Johnson A GoGo! said...

I love you, Joanna.

Joanna and David said...

Thank you guys. I feel better having such wonderful encouragers. :)

kjpalmer08 said...

Just between you and me, you've put on a little weight...

Meinhardt Family said...

Hi Joanna,
You look amazing!!! Can you believe it, 2 weeks? Very exciting. I know exactly what you mean by the "anxiety" leading up. I had that with both my children. I think I was in tears the few weeks before both their due dates. I was so nervous. I promise you though, everything will fall into place. These little bundles are so much fun! I'm so excited for you to welcome yours into the world!

Sarah Hull said...

First things first... your baby bump is darling! You look fantastic for being as far along as you are! Good for you!
Second, the anxiety is so normal. I have had it before going to the hospital with each of my children. Your brain starts to go wild with the fear of the unknown. Just try hard to be one step ahead of the anxiety. Like when you feel it coming on, don't give into it. turn on relaxing music, go on a walk (or try to), call a friend and talk about something other than babies, etc.... or try and think calming thoughts like "I can't wait to rock him and what will his first outfit be... " fun things like that.
I am excited for you. Being a mom is so amazing! This will be one beautiful experience! Can't wait for pictures of your sweet little one! Keep us all posted when you can! You'll be in my prayers. The Lord is awesome and I believe He holds a special place in His heart for babies that come down with some "extra's".
Take care my friend!

Papi said...

Your posts are so well done, honey! I'm so impressed with your candor and openness, sharing your heart and faith with all of us... and you have such good supporters that share with you in this journey and write from their own similar experiences. What a blessing - tremendously valuable, I would think, and a marvel of our times. Mary would have loved a blog page, I imagine, as her support group (Gabriel aside)consisted of having to live for 3 months out of town with a much older cousin (also surprisingly pregnant) and fielding snarky questions from Judean gossips("OK, seriously, who's the daddy?", "you're a virgin? really?"). I am so proud of you and David, and baby JMP! I will continue praying for his healing and safety, and can't wait for him to arrive! And once he's here and home from the hospital, there will be no more waiting! And lil' Kay will tell you that "You can keep him!"...just like a pet fishhh.

Leigh and Andy said...

Hi Joanna (and David)- just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you guys and can't wait for you to meet your sweet baby! If you have any questions or just need to chat with someone who has been there please email...

leighegibbs@sbcglobal.net

hang in there...only a few more days!!! yay!!! :)

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