Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Making Time for Merry

As you know, the past week has taken my life in a direction I wasn't expecting, down a path I've never gone down before. A week ago is when we found Shea, opened our hearts to his heartbreaking story, and started our mission to save him. When something big like this happens, it's hard to think about anything else. It's like when you have an important doctors appointment, or a big career opportunity that would bring about a lot of change, or when you first find out your baby is going to be born with spina bifida. That knowledge that something big is looming in front of you. Something that may be good, or scary, or sad. It invades even the most mundane of activities.
You think about it when you fold the laundry, go to the grocery store, clean the kitchen.
You think about it as you make your son chocolate milk for the 3rd time that day. :)
You think about it when you snuggle up to read a book with him.
You think about it when you tie his shoes.
And of course, perhaps the hardest time to think about it but most unavoidable - at night when you lay in bed.
And you pray about it alone. Every day. And you pray about it with your husband. Every night.
And you talk about it with family and you chat about it with friends and you write messages on facebook back in forth with those who are thinking about it with you.
And somewhere in all of that... you are living your life.
Life doesn't stop because your anxious, or worried, or even planning for the future. We learned this when we were pregnant with Jet. Just because we were worried about him and what the future held, it didn't mean we didn't have to go to work and interact with people. And I'm so thankful it also didn't keep us from enjoying things like going to get coffee, watching a funny movie, or delicious family dinners.
We still laughed, we still loved, we still lived.
We never stopped thinking about our unborn baby.
We never stopped loving him or wishing we could do more for him.
We never stopped praying that God would protect him and strengthen him.
But neither did we stop thanking God for being with us and trusting Him in everything.
And that is what I am reminding myself to do now.
To let God be in control - because as soon as I think I am in control that's when things truly fall apart.
To believe that God will grant me what I'm praying for when I pray for patience and guidance.
To enjoy the blessings we have - even while we're praying for someone who doesn't.
To play with our silly boy and holiday shop and mail Christmas cards!
To live each day with a happy heart.
To remember to drink hot cocoa...
...and gaze at the tree and all the holiday decorations.
To smile at the ornaments- as they only come out of the box for about 30 days of the year...
old and new....
his and hers :)...
I will be remember to be blissful in the knowledge of who these sweet little ornaments belong to...
...and how much joy he brings to our lives.
And I will not forget the comfort that an evergreen wreath and a hallway full of family photos can bring...
And I will make time for "merry" no matter what.
So Happy Holidays from our family!
And a very, heartfelt thank you to all who have donated, initiated fundraisers, and otherwise supported Shea so far. He deserves to be merry too - and we are working on that...with your help. :)


Colleen said...

I've been thinking about the same thing tonight--finding the joy in Christmas when we're all so busy and have so many to do lists and worries. Sometimes all you can do is say a prayer, give it all over to God, and ask him for that joy. I'm going to try! It's hard sometimes!

Scasmflops said...

So perfectly said my sweet friend...it is hard but it is important. God is in control and he gives us these burdens to show us He's there for us. We get to climb up on his lap and share them with Him. (that's how I've always liked to picture prayer) :) love you!

JourneyWithTheCrosiers said...

Beautiful reminder...I needed that tonight! Praying with you and your family every day. Shae needs you!

Jill said...

Lots of big hugs and love!!

(we have the Elf, too! The girls go insane over him!)

Papi said...

Very proud of what you're doing for little Shea. And, I continue to love your posts.

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