Monday, October 11, 2010

Before the Morning

Last night I met a dear friend for coffee for the second time in 2 weeks - and you mommas out there know that just DOESN'T happen without the stars aligning just so. We've been friends since middle school but haven't seen as much of each other as we use to - it's been so nice to reconnect with her. And this dear friend happens to take beautiful pictures. And she took some precious ones of my little boy and I a few weeks ago. She gave them to me tonight...and no surprise...I love them. I'd seen a few of these before - but to look at them all tonight in order was like a little story - full of sweetness and simplicity and real right-in-front-of-you love.
And in the spirit of SB Awareness month I wanted to share them with you - because to me - they express so genuinely the reality of this beautiful life we live - with Spina Bifida.
It doesn't control us.
It doesn't define us.
It doesn't stop us from having the most beautiful miracle babies...
with the most glorious smiles...
and the sweetest sugar...
It doesn't keep us from taking them to the park...
exploring God's creation...
(grass is not one of Jet's favorite creations...)

It doesn't keep us from singing "A Song of Sixpence"
(watch out for that black bird...)

and laughing every chance we get.
And though it threatened, SB did not deny us the great blessing of walking hand in hand...
and basking in the warmth of the sunlight....
...and each other.
Because all of that fear that threatens to suffocate you when you first learn of SB, or when days of hardship weigh on you and bring ominous clouds of doubt, all that darkness...cannot hide the light...
the beautiful light that is always around the corner...
glowing brighter...growing stronger...
ready to break through the darkness.
And let me tell you - it's an amazing feeling.
And it's a beautiful life.
There is a song - and every time I hear it I feel like it was written for me. (It's playing now -you can rewind and listen to it on Jet's play-list at the top right of the page). It is an amazing testiment to what I felt like when we first heard of SB - and what so many of us feel at different times in our lives. It expresses so perfectly what I would say to an expectant mother, father, family - who is scared and so lost at the thought that something has gone wrong with their unborn baby. Because fear for your child - it's one of the deepest hurts you can have.
So every time I listen to it's lyrics I am reminded (and yes I usually cry...surprise right?) of how some of the hardest moments in our lives...are just the dark before the morning.

Do you wonder why you have to,
feel the things that hurt you,
if there's a God who loves you,
where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
and all those things are happening
to bring a better ending
some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Would dare you, would you dare to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain that you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on and just fight the good fight
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so say a prayer
and hold on
cause there's good for those who love God,
But life is not a snapshot,
it might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
press on and just fight the good fight
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the dark before the morning

Once you feel the weight of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory
once you feel the weight of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory

Would dare you, would you dare to believe,
that you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
can't compare to the joy that's coming

So come on, you got to wait for the light
press on and just fight the good fight
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
it's just the hurt before the healing
the pain you've been feeling,
is just the dark...
before the morning

10 comments:

Stephanie said...

Thanks, friend. I SO needed this tonight. (((Hugs)))

Cassie said...

Beautiful post. I love Josh Wilson! Great song.

Jill said...

I LOOOOOVE the second picture - the look on Jet's face when he's looking at you. Can you bottle that up?

So, so lovely. As always. ;)

Colleen said...

Love that song! I cried listening to it on the radio just yesterday. :) Does the crying ever end? At least it's tears of joy.

Jet is just so squeezable, lovable, kissable! I'd love to get my hands on that sweet little boy.

Holli (and Mark) said...

Such a GREAT post (as always)!!! Pics are amazing!! and ofcourse you have such wisdom in your message. I pray that new mamas and daddys just learning about SB find you here because you effortlessly show them what SB is AND what isn't!! I actually forwarded your page on to a very dear friend of mine who is having another kind of hurt/pain, not SB but I think the song and the lyrics speak to all of us during a time of struggle. thank you for sharing that!!! Hugs!

JourneyWithTheCrosiers said...

Amazing Joanna. Threats are no fun, but when the obstacles are tackled and we experience the positives, we realize how amazing the power of prayer is. I have been quite emotional as Beckett's little personality is exploding and he is meeting milestones. I stare at this miracle and am sometimes so overwhelmed with the "could-have-beens" that it is suffocating.
Gorgeous new pictures of you and your precious little angel. You are one handsome little man, Jet Penny!

laura said...

Beautifully said... I love that song and cry every time it comes on too)

Amanda said...

That was beautiful (as usual). I've been offline for the last couple of days and didn't have time to catch up on Jet until today!

I Love how you help to express the joy and happiness that we all feel for our children.

Scasmflops said...

More amazing pictures!!!! and what an amazing and perfect song.
Love!

JoAnn Mullins said...

Simply beautiful.

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