Tuesday, May 25, 2010

What a difference...

...A year makes.
Yes - that is the same shirt and yes I can't believe how huge I was. Or that I'm publicly posting it to remind everyone! lol. But the memory is SO happy - because one year ago today we were going over our hospital checklists, packing up the car, setting the alarm for 4:30am and dreading the get-up because we didn't expect to sleep much that night (or many nights after).
A year ago today was the day before our little boy was born. :)
Excited. Nervous. Uncomfortably pregnant. It was unreal then...yet couldn't feel more real tonight just thinking about it. I remember the feelings so distinctly. I remember the anticipation and the prayers we said before bed. I remember getting up the next morning (cursing David for getting Starbucks when I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything!) and thinking...this is it...my baby is coming...and he's gonna be okay.
That is if I don't pass out from this griping anxiety. lol.
I was so confident that God was taking care of him...but I still felt a horrible panic when it came time for the surgery. The memory of wanting to rip the i.v. from my arm and run (okay probably waddle) very fast out of the pre-op room is still at the surface of my most vivid memories.
I remember the whole family arriving. I remember David laughing at my horror that this was actually happening now! I remember how great my doctor was and how sure of everything. I remember the noises - the beeping, the nurses talking, the air flowing helping me breathe.
And I remember hearing the cry.
That first, amazing cry.
The most beautiful sound - so sweet - bringing instant relief - glorious introduction - answered prayer.
I felt the tears of joy and my whole countenance transition from worry to the most calming feeling of serenity I had ever experienced.
The feeling of being totally cared for.
The feeling of reaching a safe place of rest.
The feeling of completeness.
I'll never forget that feeling.
And I'll never forget how much we are loved by our Father in Heaven when I think of that day,
the peace we received,
and the gift we were given ~
Our Little Miracle.

10 comments:

Colleen said...

Oh, so sweet. And I hate you for looking so good before and after. :)

Kayleigh said...

I don't mean to ruin the sentimentality... but you kinda look like you're going to eat him in that last picture.

Joanna and David said...

haha! He's made of sugar so I guess I COULD! lol.

Meinhardt Family said...

Happy birthday Jet!!! You are an amazing young man. I'm glad I get to be a part of your life and watch you grow. Your mom and dad are amazing too. It's like today is their birthday because you are the best gift they could ever get. Love you little guy!!!

truly blessed said...

your words are melting my heart this morning.
i need a cup of coffee. it's too early to cry.

but...look at you! you're lookin' good girl. ;)
p.s. don't eat jet. nibble?...okay, but no bites.

Nina said...

tears are in my eyes this morning too. It has truly been incredible journey so far. Jet has been such a blessing and a heartful of happiness for me. granchildren aww! are simply the best. but watching your children with grandchildren is priceless! happy sweet birthday jet and congrats momma and daddy on a first great year. i love you. nina

Liz Keicher said...

Happy Birthday Jet! What a wonderful year you and your family have had, with an unbelievably adorable miracle! Joanna, what sweet words about that life-changing moment a year ago, when you were finally able to meet your beautiful boy. I can't believe a year has passed?! How do we slow down time??!

Sending you birthday wishes from Buffalo xoxo,

Emily, Liz, and Chris

Chad and Kristin Pendley said...

This post brought tears of joy to my eyes. I can't believe little Jet is ONE!!! Such a happy day. He is truly a miracle and is undeniably adorable. We can't wait to celebrate on Sat. BTW~ You were NOT huge, you were glowing!

Jill said...

Happy Birthday Jet!!

Sarah Hull said...

Such a sweet post! It's amazing what a year can bring! Lots of miracles!!

and one more thing....You are TINY!!!

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