Fear and Faith

It was right before these 20 week pictures that David and I had some difficult news. Here is an email we send out to our church family and friends from that time. January 8, 2009.

"David and I are so grateful for the prayers that have been offered up for us and our baby yesterday and today. It has been a great comfort to us. We received very troubling and upsetting news at a doctor's appointment yesterday afternoon. My blood work from a routine appointment a few weeks ago showed cause for some concern. The blood test results were a possible sign of spina bifida (an opening in the baby's spine) so our doctor wanted us to see a specialist who would perform an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. We had heard that this was often a misdiagnosis and therefore everything was probably fine. However, at the ultrasound yesterday the doctor was very concerned at what he saw. The ultrasound showed what looked like an opening at the top of the spine at the base of the brain. This location of spina bifida was very problematic and very rare. The doctor himself had never seen a case like this before and thought this to be very grim news for the baby. Based on this prognosis the doctor thought the baby would likely be severely handicapped or even unable to live outside the womb. He wanted us to see his colleague for a second opinion. Needless to say we were heartbroken and didn't know what to think or do. 

Today we went to see the recommended doctor for a second opinion. We were prepared to hear the same horrible news and were stunned when the ultrasound showed the neck/upper spine of the baby was fine and intact. The spina bifida is still present, but at a much lower point on the spine. In these cases the lower the opening the better. While the spina bifida still poses certain risks, (mostly to the lower extremities like the legs, feet, and bladder) it can and will be treated. We will be meeting with a neurosurgeon who will tell us about the surgery that will be done to fix the opening upon birth of the baby. During all this we wondered how this change of events could have happened. The doctors reasoned that the machine yesterday was not as accurate or that maybe the baby's position caused them to mistake the location of the opening. We feel God's hand in this new development and we will not cease to pray for the health and development of our baby as we continue to meet with the doctors.

We cannot begin to thank you all enough for the thoughts and prayers - our families have both felt an unexplainable peace and now a new hope for our future that we can only attribute to God's hand resting on us. We need your love and prayers more than ever now and ask specifically for you to pray:

* For the baby's health and continued development (especially that of the legs and bladder)

* That the opening will not widen or leak fluid to the brain (which is a common risk with spina bifida)

* That God will steady the minds and hands of the doctors throughout the pregnancy and surgery.

* That God will continue to give David and I the strength, peace and faith we need during the uncertainty and worry that lies ahead.