Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Someone


"We worry about what a child will become tomorrow,
yet we forget that he is someone today" ~Stacia Tauscher
I came across this quote and it spoke to me.
I know I'm not alone in feeling that I need this reminder daily. Not that I worry daily - I really don't feel like I do. But there is always that tendency in the back of my mind to try to plan, predict, prevent - and I forget to take pleasure. Pleasure in the little joys all around me - the simple things I take for granted. I become stressed so easily I'm ashamed to say - frustration always seems to be just underneath the surface of my emotions. Frustration at doctors, the insurance company, the million things on my "life to-do list" that flitter around my head and remind me I haven't done them yet. I sometimes feel like I've got ostrich-syndrome and just bury my head in the sand when things get to overwhelming. I think "I can't deal with this right now!" I recently told our Children's Medical Services coordinator (when she asked if we'd applied for SSI yet...and no...we hadn't) that "on the days he's sick, or has doctors visits, or PT I just don't have the brain cells to remember these things...and on the days we're fine...I just don't want to remember these things...I want to enjoy normal life! I want to read books, and take my baby to Target and not have to think about SSI." She was totally understanding - and I didn't feel like it was a great excuse...but it was true. And I left feeling frustrated again with myself for not being more proactive. There's so much I need to do! Why?! Why does it never end!?
But then I heard about a family who lost their 5 year old daughter to brain cancer. And then another family who lost their 2 year old in a horrible accident choking on a piece of apple. And I remember all the little babies lost at birth like little Eli - so many tragedies - so much heartbreak. And I am overwhelmed with how life can change in an instant - how at any moment it could all end and I wouldn't have these frustrations anymore...but at a cost that no one ever would want to pay.
And I stop right then and praise God for His mercy and wisdom. For showing me perspective every time I need it -and loving me in ways I can't see on my own.
I am so thankful for the doctors and the phone calls and the paperwork - because they mean I still have this little someone...
Someone who is worth it all - and I can do it for him.
Someone who takes joy in the simple things like kitties and the feel of the window -smooth and cool on his skin.
And I don't really have it that bad after all...
The truth is I have it so, so good...
Lord - help me never to let my worries of the future cloud the joys of today.
Because I have so much to be joyful about.

15 comments:

Jill said...

Love love love love love!

Kari said...

felt the SAME exact way today. SERIOUSLY the SAME. crazy!!

Johnson A GoGo! said...

AMEN!!!

JourneyWithTheCrosiers said...

Couldn't agree more...I'll just leave it at that!

Scasmflops said...

Oh Joanna, I needed this today. I'm on the computer right now ostriching away. Thank you for bringing my head and my heart back up. Youre right, although its not what we would have picked or chosen for our precious boys, the fact is we do have very precious baby boys and we are so blessed.

Holli (and Mark) said...

so so so so soooo needed this tonight, thank you for that reminder. and those pictures? as always priceless!!!!!

krousehouse said...

Made me cry!

HennHouse said...

Oh, those eyelashes... He's just amazing.

And so are you. This post is awesome.

Nina said...

josie - my heart is full. :)

truly blessed said...

i love you.♥

Colleen said...

I needed this too. Beautiful.

Amanda said...

Thank you for that!
Sometimes we need that kick in the pants to remember that if we worry and wonder too much about the future we are missing the great things in the present!
And your pictures of gorgeous as usual!!!

Stephanie said...

Not sure how I missed this one. Couldn't have said it better myself (which is why I let you do the talking ;)) I'm here to say I'll take it all-the good, the bad and the ugly. They are just constant reminders of how fortunate we really are!

Selina said...

So beautiful...and so true. Thank you. (and you're not alone on the SSI thing...in fact as I read that, I actually said "OOH, I need to get on that!" LOL)

Micki said...

So glad that Jet is feeling better!! Sick, yucky feeling days are never any fun, no matter what!!! Big hugs to you all!!!

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