Super

Recently, when asked how things are going, I find myself saying the same thing "we're good - just super busy."

I know I'm not the only one who is busy - everyone is busy. We all have appointments to make, jobs to do, groceries to buy, emails to check, people to call, and usually at least one "someone" who depends on us to make sure all these things get taken care of for them as well (kids, pets, elderly parents, husbands, ;) - there's always someone). And therefore, we are all pretty busy. But I'm talking super busy here folks.

Super: great, extreme, or excessive

Super busy is the kind that makes your head hurt and all your neatly organized thoughts suddenly jumble up and fly out of your head because you can't keep it all straight anymore. Super busy takes 3 email accounts, a constant stream of text messaging and regular facebook checks on your smart phone to keep it all straight. The kind of busy that makes caffeine out of the question because you're already so jittery from the adrenaline rushes that are frequently coursing through you to keep you going. The kind of busy that inevitably leads to putting the milk in the pantry, wearing your clothes inside out or locking the keys in the car. The kind of busy that keeps you from BLOGGING?! ;) The kind of busy that starts off as exciting, motivating, productive, even exhilarating as you cross things off your list and give multi-tasking a new meaning - but ends with you staring at your computer while your little one naps thinking "what am I supposed to be doing...I know I'm supposed to be doing something...oh yeah, there are 10 things I'm supposed to be doing! Where do I start?!" So, overwhelmed, you try to just reprogram and take a nap, and just as you lay down your 2 year old wakes up early from his nap. Yep. Right on cue.

But - this is not a cry for help post. Though I know I could get tones of encouragement and "been there done that - hang in there" comments from my amazing friends and family - I'm not writing for that. Because I can honestly say that even though life is super busy - and I can get literally dizzy from working and planning and thinking and doing all that we are doing -

I am happy.

I really am. I admittedly can get overwhelmed and stressed and have my "oh no! how am I going to do all this?" moments where I call David or my mom and talk really fast and make no sense and confuse them so that they can only say "I'm sorry...what would help you?" Those moments aren't overtaking my life. (And I hope my "therapists" don't think otherwise! lol). Because honest-to-goodness - I am well.

I am not sad. I am not angry. I am not anxious.

I am happy.

I am super happy.

I am happy because I know that this won't last forever We've been super busy before. Things will calm down a little, life will slow down a little, and there is nothing going on so crazy, stressful or hectic that I can't keep my perspective.

We are healthy.

That is something I hope I never take for granted. I know too many babies, children, mommies and daddies who daily face health concerns we haven't had to face. My heart goes out to them in the deepest way. And I am so happy and thankful for our blessings of health. I can face all the therapies, surgeries and "extras" in the world if I can see my little boy wake up happy and feeling good in the morning. Every morning that happens is blessing. A beautiful blessing that I am grow more aware of every day. Every night Jet and I pray together - and in our prayers I can't tell you how many times I pray for God to keep him healthy. I thank Him over and over for how blessed we have been - and flat out beg Him to continue to protect my baby. Sometimes I forget I'm praying with my 2 year old until I feel a little hand grab my face like "wrap things up mommy, I'm ready for bed." I try not to worry about his health, his future - but it hurts my heart to think about him being sick, or suffering from one of the many SB hurts I know are possible. We've faced a few. And God will brings us through any future trials. But I never forget to let Him know how grateful we are - and how earnestly we ask Him to continue these good days. The super busy, super good days.

We are home.

Every time I hear of families who are separated for various reasons (hospitalizations, military leave, job-transfers, etc) I think of what a blessing it is to all be home together. I remember when Jet was still in the NICU and we would come home without him each night - it was hard. I have so many friends who have to split up - for weeks, months at a time - between their babies at home and their babies in the hospital. Wanting so bad to be mommy to all their little ones at once - unable to be with one child because you're with another. It has to be so hard. Being separated from family. Being away from home. Waiting to be with the ones you love again. That is real cause for stress. That's the kind of anxiety and fatigue that I know we could be facing - but we're not. Not right now. And that is a blessing for which I am super thankful.

And God reminds me of these blessings in the most wonderful way possible. He shows me that I can handle the super-busy right now - because I have Him. And He is SUPERIOR.

And because He gave me him...

My little super-man.

To keep me going.

To keep me laughing.

To remind me to enjoy the little moments, the simple pleasures of being together.

The incomparable joy and peace that comes from being loved like this.

From being allowed to love like this.

And to cause me stop and think about what really matters. What my purpose is, and am I fulfilling it. To count everyday as the blessing it is and never take for granted the gifts we've been given. To take the bad with the good, and then appreciate the good more deeply. To not allow myself be become too distracted or so busy that I forget the big picture. To never underestimate the beauty of simplicity and rest. I want that. And I know I need only to seek it. And I will.

Because the bottom line is...we are super blessed.

So the next time someone asks me how things are going...

Maybe my response should be "we're good...we're just super."

And leave it at that. :)

In my daydreams..

...we're back at the beach.

Breezy, sunny days spent perfectly when you pack a cooler and head for the ocean.

Not that I'm not enjoying being back at home - because home is often just what you need. And after a busy summer - I'm looking forward to some fall days spent right here in our comfy house. But with school starting back again, and the hot humid Georgia haze making playing outside practically impossible - I have fond memories of our summer trip to California. I always do. Since my childhood my affection for this state has always held true - California makes for awesome memories. It's the place we always talk about - and the place we always make plans of returning to. It's the place David and my cousin Jenna plan on buying family compound for both our families to live. ;) (In their daydreams!)

It's just our favorite.

And on the kind of days when PT leaves you feeling frustrated and discouraged, your picky eater refuses his favorite lunch and then skips dinner, and there's 3 loads worth of unfolded laundry on the bed - you're in need of some de-stressing and reminiscing.

Remembering relaxed, playful, family time.

I remember last summer when Jet was not a fan of the sand - but liked being dipped in the water...this year the sand was a blast!

And about the hundredth time I said "Don't throw the sand" I realized I might as well have been the teacher in Charlie Brown.

It made absolutely no impression on him. And as my Aunt Juli pointed out "if we don't let him throw the sand we might as well go home now. It's all he wants to do!" lol. True. And we didn't want to go home yet. So...sigh...protect your eyes people.

As for the water...Jet was like not so much.

In fact...in Jet's mind the water was absolutely off-limits - not just for him but for anyone in his family. The very idea of Daddy walking towards the water was horrifying.

"Can nobody see what's happening here?! Daddy is going towards the loud, freezing, never-ending monster!"

So we pretty much were quarantined on the beach.

Well...Daddy managed to sneak off and have some fun.

But it was needless to say it was traumatic.

So for the good of everyone else at the beach with us that day - and to keep my son's heart beat at a normal rate - I stayed "safely" on the sand.

And he got a cookie. Cause that makes everything better.

And in return - he gave me an exfoliating leg scrub and gave new meaning to the word "sandwich".

But honestly ... there are worse ways to spend the afternoon.

And there are worst ways to spend the afternoon...than daydreaming about it.

DISCLAIMER:

For those who were as worried as Jet was...

No Daddies were hurt in the making of this blog post.

Daddy made it safely back to shore.

And we all are living happily ever after.

Remembering Ruby

Sweet Miss Ruby Jane went home to heaven the night after I wrote that post requesting prayers.

Her family describes a peace in knowing her fight on earth is over - but sorrow in losing such sweetness so soon. The impact she has had in her short life is phenomenal. With fundraisers and auctions going on to help the family pay the medical bills - and people all over facebook posting Ruby's photo as their profile pic and wearing pink and yellow to celebrate Ruby's beautiful life.

This little girl touched hearts.

Jet blowing kisses to Ruby in heaven.

While Ruby is now perfect and protected with our Father - her family is left here hurting, healing, and waiting to be with her again. Please continue to pray for this amazing family of faith.

Her mother, Ani, wrote the following on their family blog:

my arms are so empty. so, so empty. 7 months i held that baby in my arms, and now they are empty. it is such an awful feeling. no words can describe the pain my heart feels. a few days before her passing, i was trying to think of words to describe how my heart felt watching her suffer, and the only thing i could think of was my heart being dragged over hot coals. hot coals sound pretty good right about now. there is just no way to write out the anguish i feel. not only does my heart just ache and hurt beyond expression, but my whole body.
all day long i am in a constant battle with myself. one moment being overcome with grief and sorrow, and the next feeling complete comfort in the Plan of Salvation. i have to keep reminding myself of what i know to be true. it is what i cling to. oh, i am so thankful for eternal families.
the spirit was so close the day she passed on. i knew it was coming. i tried to convince myself otherwise, but it was whispered to me so clearly.
nothing really fell into place with her health. it was one road block after another. she was not meant to make it through her struggle. when the "what if's" and the "if only's" creep into my mind all day and night, i have to remember the prompting from the spirit. my father in heaven knew that i needed that. i fought so long and so hard for my baby, and i needed to hear that last day that He needed her Home with Him.
my arms will continue to long and ache for my daughter, but at least i know that she is in the loving arms of our Father in Heaven.

Please continue keep this family in your prayers.

Not the only one...

Sometimes it seems, just as soon as I finish writing about my fears - the demons that threaten my faith or the struggles we all sometimes face - that I am once again reminded that I am not the only one. And more often than not - my troubles seem to pale in comparison to another's. I think we can all agree - that in this life we all face difficulty. Sometimes it comes down to matter of perspective and we just need to press on - be thankful for what we have - not worry about what we can't control. But other times - it's heartbreaking...devastating. Sometimes there is nothing fair or doable or understandable about it. But no matter the source or size or severity of our trials - We have to remember we are not alone. We are not alone in our anxieties and troubles. We are not alone in our questions and confusion.

We are not alone in our need for help...for encouragement...for prayers.

And there is a little girl out there right now who needs our prayers.

Her name is Ruby.

She is beautiful. She is adored by her family. She is 7 months old.

And her liver is failing.

My heart sank as I saw her little face pop up on a friend's wall on facebook asking for prayers. I didn't know if my friend knew them personally or not - it didn't matter. When you know someone in need of prayers...you get the word out there. Oh no. Another poor baby is sick. I almost didn't want to read it. But I had to. And like always - it broke my heart to read her story. I sometimes think "God...you are so very wise. You are all-powerful and full of grace and mercy. I know you are in control. And you accomplish much by sharing these stories with me...but I'm starting to feel like nobody has it easy anymore. Why are all the children sick? Why are all the babies fighting for their lives or taken away too soon?" And I guess that's the point.

Nobody has it easy anymore.

Ruby is not the only sweetie that has been brought into my heart and prayer-list this year...this month...this week. The list grows in number almost every day.

Maybe it was always this way - and my eyes were only opened to it 3 years ago. But I've said it to many of my friends before - it seems that after we experienced our nightmare - I've regularly been introduced to someone else's nightmare. My prayers in are constant rotation with all the names of families and children and babies in need. And it's given me perspective. And it's given me resolve to pray for strangers in a way I never did before. And it's given me compassion, empathy and love for so many I never would have known about. But it's hard to stay positive. It's hard to keep coming up with words to say to these struggling families.

It's hard to keep looking into the eyes of these innocent children - picturing my own - and reading in amazement what they and their families are going through (always with God at the forefront I must say...and I don't think that is coincidence) and not feel completely drained. Discouraged. There is nothing I can do for them. But pray.

And you start to think "how many people can I say "I'm praying for you. It's going to be okay" before I reach my limit on prayers?" Thankfully the answer to that is "there is no limit". God has no limit. And while I may feel overwhelmed by the number of families experiencing pain or anxiety - God is not overwhelmed. And while I may feel hesitant to reach out or feel like there's nothing I can do - God doesn't hesitate. He can do all things. I may not have been up for the task of seeking out people to pray for - so God is bringing them to me daily. And I have to believe there's a reason - that this isn't without purpose. That my prayers must be powerful - because God knows that prayer is all I have to offer these people.

He wants us to pray for each other.

He isn't showing me people in need because he wants me to feel guilty, or like my trials are not important. He wants me to remember them. He wants me to come to Him on their behalf as well as my own. And when I start to think "I can't pray about ALL these people and my family...that's too much." I immediately laugh at myself - because that it ridiculous.

The easiest way for me to understand God's love for me is to compare it to my love for Jet.

If Jet were to skin up his knee and ask me for a band-aid (which I'm sure will happen more times than I can count) - I would give it to him. I wouldn't refuse him. I want to ease his pains, fix anything I can, help him in anyway possible. Because I love him. More than myself.

And if Jet were to come to me and ask for a band-aid on behalf for his friend, his classmate, his cousin, or a complete stranger...would I deny him? Of course not. Not only because I love my child - but because it would bring joy to my heart to see him taking care of others. Loving them. Helping them. Bringing them to me because he trusts me, he loves me, he needs me.

I cannot think of a greater blessing.

We are all God's children.

And He wants nothing more than for us to come to Him, trust Him, love Him, need Him.

And His love is bigger - for if I bring another person to Him in prayer - I am not bringing Him a friend, a classmate, a cousin, a stranger...I am bringing Him one of his other children. And He will never be too busy, too overwhelmed, too distracted...to aid His children.

Will we always understand His decisions?

No.

Will we always receive the help we expected, specified, and wanted?

No. Not always.

Sometimes His help comes in ways that we can't see or understand or recognize until much later. But He will help us.

If we ask Him.

So please. Ask Him. Just go to Him in prayer and ask Him for help on behalf of Ruby and her family. Pray for her healing and comfort. Pray for strength and renewed faith for their family. Pray for the friends and family members who keep a constant vigil over her. Pray for the countless others in your lives that you know need your prayers...you can't pray for them too much, too long, or too often.

Just pray.

Our Father is listening.

And that is no small thing.

It is everything.

Psalm 50:15
"Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor Me."

Read about Ruby

http://aniandmatttaylor.blogspot.com/

"Little Jewel Needs a Liver Transplant"

http://rubyjanetaylor.blogspot.com/