Christmas Catchup and New Years Notables

Wow. Those last few months of 2011 flew by so fast. It seems every time I get on to blog I don't even know where to begin! But I guess I'll just do what I've been doing since the fall - rewind and reflect. And since we can't go skippin' major holidays - let's talk Christmas!

(Mr. and Mrs. Claus from my childhood. They move their arms and heads in a slow, hypnotic way and have a magical quality of being both captivating and creepy at the same time.)

The best way to describe this Christmas is "Sweet and Sour." The sweetness being how precious it was to read "The Night Before Christmas" to Jet every night, hear him point to all his ornaments on the tree and say "tree!" at least 20 times a day whenever he saw that familiar evergreen on a window display, sweatshirt or christmas card. The sweetness of dressing him in his red and green santa pj's and imagine him dreaming of sugar plums.

The sweetness of watching Rudolph more than I've ever wanted to see a Christmas movie and hearing Jet sing along to with Burl Ives song in an adorable mix of "he's spot-on!" and "now what did he just say?" The sweetness of Christmas Eve morning when got up early to celebrate "Early Christmas" - so as not to be so rushed to church on Sunday morning, and because he's 2 and doesn't know the difference. ;)

Sweet because with every holiday tradition, every song sung, every gift opened - he was as happy and excited as could be. I just love life through his eyes.

These gifts (above) I've labeled "The Magnificent Seven".

1. Magical Wand (with blue glitter stars floating inside! Seriously - I had one just like it but purple when I was little and it was the most beautiful thing I owned.)

2. Toy Story Sticker/Activity pack (and it comes with crayons for you to throw on the floor as well! Oh...that's not what you do with crayons? Um...well someone needs to have a talk with Jet then. I've tried.)

3. Playdoh! (Not just for eating!)

4. Chapstick (Santa doesn't kid around. Those kissable lips need serious protection.)

5. The World's Largest Peppermint Patty! (or...a regular sized one that when compared to the mini's that Jet is used to seems, in fact, enormous. And wonderful. And you should have seen his eyes light up. And then the drool came. And yes he ate it before breakfast.)

6. Puzzles! (that look very cool and intriguing with Mickey Mouse and Lightning McQueen and Toy Story characters on them - but are in actuality way too complicated for 2 year olds. Awesome.)

7. Buzz Lightyear (Space Ranger. Number one gift. And "the coolest toy ever.")

Though there were other various books and clothing items - this group of primarily stocking-stuffers were by far his favorites. And they say a lot about our J-man and who he is at 2 and a half years old. And of course - 7 being the perfect number - Buzz was the perfect gift. A best friend for Woody, a space-ranger for Jet. He was almost as excited about playing with him as we were about buying him. Who could as for more?

The gift-giving continued at my parents house. Where we spent a relaxing morning with family, just enjoying staying in.

And I will say Jet was apparently very good this year.

David and I? Not so much....maybe we were unknowingly naughty this year. For although we were blessed with wonderful gifts and surprises that left us in a childlike state of awe - that night we got a surprise "gift"...a horrible stomach virus. Yep. Merry Christmas to all.

(I don't have a picture of us being sick. So how about some pie? Much nicer to look at anyway.)

Thankfully Jet escaped the plague virus and got to spend Christmas Day (and the day after that) and Nina and Papi's house. Being spoiled by grandparents 3 days in a row?! Jet was once again living the good life. Playing with his new toys, grilled cheese for lunch and watching "Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas" movie every day. He didn't miss us for a second. And I was thrilled! I spent all night Christmas Eve praying he wouldn't wake up with it and not only did he feel fine - he got to have a wonderful Christmas. It was a wonderful offset to our otherwise unfortunate situation. And by the time we were all well - we still had Jet's other grandparents' house to visit! And it too full of gifts and fun. Extended Christmas!! I mean seriously - Jet will be spoiled for all Christmases to come. Nothing will ever live up. ;)

Then the New Year arrived and with it came a visit from Jet's favorite red-headed playmate -Miss Jane.

And if Jet thought 1 red-head was fun...

He was beside himself with 2! Jet's other "cousin" Eliana (who lives in Ga but is usually in Pre-K) was on vacation and got to hang out with the family!

It was 2 against 1 - just how Jet likes it. Big kids = Awesome. Big kids who are also girls = Sliding-Down-Rainbows-Awesome. Something about his big-girl, baby-doll-playing, bossy-behavin, princess-dressin, cute cousins just makes Jet's day. He loved having them around. And they put up with him just fine. ;)

We took a field trip to the "Train Museum" (which is really "The Southern Museum of Civil War and Locomotive History" - but doesn't that sound like fun just died right in front of you) so we talked-up the train aspect and the kids had a blast! There's even a big red train caboose out front which is so cool.

Unless you are Jane who was apparently not impressed...

...or Jet who was unexplainably terrified. Go figure.

(seriously - he wouldn't get near it and cried when I did!)

And inside is a lot of neat history - but then also some very kid-friendly educational playrooms, which is of course where we spend most of our time. :)

(Not surprisingly, Jet wouldn't wear the conductor's hat...so I ask you...what choice did I have?)

And even though it was actually more like controlled-chaos than an educational-expedition -

- it was a memory.

And I love making memories with family.

Especially my littlest family members.

Speaking of which I have a new little cousin-niece! Baby Grace (Eliana's new little sister) was born to my cousins Justin and Andrea on January 5th, 2012. What a sweet start to the new year. :) I cannot wait to do her newborn portraits! And guess what...she's another red-head. Jet is going to be so excited. lol.

And so the holidays came to a close - Daddy, who had enjoyed a full 2 weeks off from school, had to go back to work today. But boy did we have fun while he was home.

I see more and more of David in Jet when they're together. They have the same silly sense of humor that cracks me up to watch. They also happen to be the most handsome boys on the planet. Just sayin.

We may not have had the Christmas we planned, or a year without hardship. We witnessed worries and anxieties of close friends and family, heartbreak and loss for those we care deeply for, and struggled with unanswered questions that we and others still face. 2011 was a mix of the incredible and unimaginable. But through it all, God was at the forefront. We were brought closer to Him than ever - through our own experiences and the experiences of others - and that is not something to be overlooked. So although I don't know what the future holds in 2012 - I don't think anyone could ask for more than we do have right now, in this moment. And with that in mind, I can say with confidence and hope - "Happy New Year."

Comfort and Joy

I can't believe tomorrow's Christmas.

I can't believe another year has almost come and gone.

I can't believe I'm actually getting 2 blog posts written in the same month. ;)

Must be the magic of Christmas.

And of course, I still can't believe he's mine.

He's getting so big.

Well...not so much "big" as grown up. ;)

(loves his elf - "Bob" - short for "Bob-bob-bob-bob")

(the "watching-for-Santa-bunny-face")

It's amazing how every day he's learning something new now. New curiosities lead to new behaviors, new likes and dislikes, new triumphs and trials. Every stage of his amazing little life has come with something new - a new challenge, a new goal, a new perspective.

And like every holiday since his birth - this Christmas... again... seems brand new.

(Jet's been trying to get Santa on the phone all month long. He's a busy man I tell ya.)

(adding new ornaments to the tree. David said to me the other night while watching Jet play by the tree- "it's so funny how getting excited about Christmas isn't about us anymore...it's about him...and I'm okay with that." And so am I. He makes celebrating anything even more special.)

(What's that? A tacky giant red ornament that plays music and lights up and has a train that goes around a house and santa's sleigh flying through the air?? Yes please!)

Ho Ho Ho

I've enjoyed this holiday season in so many ways. The movies and books we bring out from their storage boxes (hearing Jet sing "Rudolph" along with Burl Ives is an all-time favorite).

Visiting family, preparing for the celebrations to come, taking pictures, meeting Santa...

(well...I enjoyed meeting Santa. lol)

I love the way the house feels - a mix of old and new as we brought out old holiday photos, unpacked Christmas decorations and rearranged all the everydays to make room for the exceptionals.

(Woody has made friends with the reindeer and Bob. He's such a nice guy.)

It's my absolute favorite season - our home feels the homiest at Christmas time. It brings such comfort.

Another favorite is racing out to the mailbox to greet the amazing joy of Christmas cards arriving every afternoon since Thanksgiving.

I love Christmas cards.

They're my favorite kind of mail.

And I must say it brought a special smile to my face to see cards with photos I had taken on them! Wow. A total new twist to one of my favorite things. I must keep this tradition going. :)

And as I look at all the colorful cards and smiling faces strung throughout my kitchen and living room - it's no wonder they make me happy. For not only are they adorned with portraits of love, family and holiday spirit - they are filled with words like "peace and goodwill" "hope and love" "merry and bright" "comfort and joy".

Comfort and Joy

Those are the words that resonated with me this year. For what better feelings in the world, than to feel comfort...and joy. To me they are as different as they are complimentary. To feel comforted means there had to be at first discomfort - anxiety, fear, sadness, anger, confusion, loneliness, pain. To feel comfort means to have relief from those feelings - even if just for a moment - even if they are not completely gone - to receive comfort means to have peace. To feel rest. To gain a sense of safety or calm - because someone is there, someone understands, someone wants to help, or at the very least someone loves you enough to try. In all my times of worry - in my darkest hours when there were no answers - when I have felt alone or helpless or as if my world was falling apart - there was nothing to take away that pain at first. But as impossible as it seemed, when I would feel just a moment of comfort - it was as if God was reminding me "you are never alone. I Am not helpless. This world is not free of pain - but I will bring you rest." I cannot begin to explain how amazing, how beautiful, how God-given the feeling of Comfort is to me. It is what I yearn to give those around me who hurt. It is what I want most for my baby boy when he's sick. It is what we crave most in a life full of unknowns and troubles - reassurance, peace, someone to understand, to sit with us, to tell us "it's going to be okay" and mean it. And with God as our father - we never have to go far to find it if we are open to receiving it.

What a beautiful thing to wish someone at Christmas or any time of the year.

Comfort.

And the next was Joy. Like comfort - to experience joy means to understand the absence of it. You cannot appreciate the fullness of joy without having at one time felt the emptiness of fear, hate, sorrow, unbelief, apathy, complacency. To have joy is more than to be pleased. To have joy is more than to be happy. To have joy really isn't a feeling at all. It is a mindset. A choice. To have joy is to choose to be thankful - to allow yourself be filled with wonder and purpose and light. When I think of my life - and the times I've been happy or excited or pleased. Those times pale in comparison to the times I have felt true joy. Those times when I have experienced joy have been the times when I was filled with the belief, the knowledge, the gift of understanding the wonderful blessings God has given me. I felt Joy when I realized God loved me no matter what. I felt Joy when I understood the meaning of salvation. I felt Joy when I have prayed to God in fear, disappointment, confusion or sorrow - and suddenly feel His peace washes over me. Amazing, wonderful, joy. Not because I suddenly know all the answers. Not because suddenly all my problems have dissolved. Not because I am suddenly smarter or stronger or braver or bolder - but because I am filled with gratitude for my Father. And the choice to be joyous in the Lord is suddenly the best choice. The only choice.

When I look at my baby boy.

I feel true joy.

Yes he makes me happy - but he also makes me crazy! :)

Yes he brings me laughter - but he also brings me tears.

I feel every emotion every mother does when parenting her child - the love, the desire to protect and guide, comfort and teach. I feel a great many things when I think of his life - his future - his purpose. But the joy I feel is not like these other emotions - it is sense of wonder, of understanding, a feeling of the deepest connection to the Love of God I have ever felt in my life thus far.

I look at him and I believe.

I look at him and I understand.

I look at him and I trust.

I look at him and I give thanks.

I look at him and I know that no matter what - no matter the worst of fears or hardest of trials - the deepest of losses or sharpest of pains - that nothing can separate us from the Love of God. I look at him and feel joy that even though I can't truly comprehend it - God loves me more than I love this precious, beautiful boy. (I know...how is that possible?!) And that God's most perfect gift to me was not in fact my miracle baby - but His miracle baby. His only Son.

And the gift of sacrificing His son that we might all be with Him for eternity.

I will never be able to fully comprehend that thought.

But what a powerful one.

I will be honest - I don't fully understand everything that happens in this life.

And there are times when I'm so surrounded by fear, pain and the suffering of others that I feel lost in trying to figure out God's plan...how this will all work for His glory.

I don't pretend to know God's plan beyond what I have been given through His word.

But I can understand a portion of His love.

I can trust in it.

I can find peace in it.

I can feel it.

And it feels like Comfort...

...and Joy.

On a night like tonight - and every night - I am once again thankful for the comfort and joy He brings. This time of year and throughout the year. He is my greatest comfort. He is my greatest joy. And I am so blessed to be His child.

Love and a Merry Christmas to you all.

I pray you have peaceful nights and days full of beautiful reminders of God's love.

And of course, the sweetest of dreams.