I came across an inspiring
video today some friends of mine were discussing on facebook. If you click on the link you can watch it - it is a speech given by Aimee Mullins - a record-setting athlete, model and actress who from childhood has been missing both legs from the shin down. She's beautiful, strong, and has wonderful presence in front of an audience, but it was her opening segment that both captivated and shocked me. She begins by saying that she recently realized she had never looked up the term "disabled." She has heard it all her life - and of course it's counterpart "disability" has made it's way into the daily lives myself of many of my fellow SB families. I've never taken offense to the word (though I may have rolled my eyes and thought "not really" when faced with that terminology in relation to my son) never taken offense that is... until I heard this woman read what a thesaurus had to say about the word "disabled" and only then did I truly feel the a catch in my throat and a my eyes start to burn. Here it is:
Main Entry: | disabled |
Part of Speech: | adjective |
Definition: | incapacitated |
Synonyms: | broken-down, confined, decrepit, disarmed, handicapped, helpless, lame hurt,incapable, infirm, laid-up, maimed, out-of-action, out-of-commission, paralyzed,powerless, run-down, sidelined, stalled, weakened, worn-out, wounded, wrecked |
Antonyms: | able, healthy |
Can you imagine. Did you have any idea? The thing that got me the most were the antonyms - the things "disabled" is not - "able" and "healthy". I look at my son, I look at Aimee Mullins, I look at the beautiful faces of all the babies I've met with SB, down-sydrome, cystic fibrosis, and numerous other "disabilities" and though I know (like me) their parents don't see them AT ALL as "disabled" - the word is still thrown out there sometimes. And I think "Are they not ABLE?! Are they not STRONG!? are they not POWERFUL?!" You would never see their faces, and all they have done at so young an age, and all the lives they have touched since their birth, and think they were anything but amazing, empowering miracles. I was awakened by this discovery, stunned by it's implications, angered by it's misrepresentation, and saddened by it's insensitivity when I realized something...it's not the definition of "disabled" that limits our children - it's the word choice. We're simply using the wrong word. And now that I know the weight of the word "disabled" I am certain it will never be used in my presence to describe a child or any person for that matter - for there is no one out there (however suffering or challenged) who is not capable of greatness, who is not powerful beyond their disease or diagnosis, who is not able to change lives, touch hearts, heal souls, and give strength. And if you are ABLE do all this...no one... no one... can call you otherwise.
And to borrow a favorite phrase from a new friend and her
blog...